Exclusive: World and Regional News TodayExtremely Important
News Report by: Dr. Sami Donia
Translation by: Manal El-Sherbini
USA....
There's potentially a major American scandal unfolding!
Talking out of his ass, dude, Trump, apparently, claimed that the Chinese are in contact with him to reach a trade agreement that will surprise the world, and that China has finally yielded to his will and is negotiating with him! But the fact that The Chinese Foreign Ministry has vehemently sworn on everything it holds dear that no one has contacted him at all, and no negotiations have taken place! So, by heaven, who on earth is talking to Trump and negotiating with him, guys? What's this dude even saying?! The Chinese said...
"It's probably aliens..." Yup, straight up, that's what they said.
Then they backtracked and said, "'Yo, this is getting crazy... We strongly suspect that U.S. Treasury Secretary, Scott Bessent., brought in some kids who looked Chinese and tricked Trump into believing that they were a Chinese delegation coming to negotiate with him. He deluded President Trump into thinking they were secret negotiators from the Chinese side... to perform a 'We Are Negotiating' play for him. You know, like, 'Yeah, we're negotiating with the Chinese, so please pray that God helps us with this mess you landed us in...!'"
This led the Chinese Foreign Ministry to state that this is the only explanation that can account for the apparent contradiction between China's denial of any negotiations with the United States and Trump's insistence, saying, "They are still talking."
You might ask, "Why would the U.S. The Treasury Secretary stage such a performance?"
I'll tell you what the Chinese are saying... It's clear that U.S. Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent was under immense pressure. On one hand, Trump was pushing him to quickly open negotiation channels with China, and on the other hand, he was unable to establish any real contact with Beijing. So, apparently, this dude Pence was under a ton of pressure. Like, on one side, Trump was all over him, pushing him to hurry up and open up talks with China. But on the other side,U.S. Treasury Secretary, Scott Bessent couldn't actually get any real communication going with Beijing. So he's thinking, 'What the heck do I do, man? What the heck do I do?' And then he's like, 'Oh, wait, I got it!' They're gonna hire actors who look Chinese and tell Trump that China sent a delegation for negotiations, and they're secretly talking! The crazy part is, this ain't the first time something like this has happened in history!
You're probably thinking, 'No way, that happened before?' Yeah, the Chinese are saying that a similar thing went down back in 1592; during the war between China and Japan in Korea, when this Japanese general went to a Chinese merchant and put him in charge of the official negotiations on behalf of the Chinese Ming Dynasty.
It was all a fake negotiation, a staged play to help out the Japanese king's interests. And these kinds of phony negotiations might not last long, but they're usually enough to buy some time when things get tight."
Spain...
No, not just Spain...!!!
It's Spain, Portugal, and large parts of France, as well!
You might ask, "What happened?!" Well, 3 million citizens in Spain, Portugal, and vast areas of France woke up this morning to a complete power outage, and everything related to technology is completely down, starting with airports and train stations to traffic lights, communications, hospitals, banks, gas stations, communication towers, and the internet... a complete shutdown!
Literally, the lives of 3 million people in Europe have stopped all of a sudden, and they've been thrown back to the medieval period! And until now, no one knows the cause of the power outage!!! The talk is all about a cyber attack on all power stations and backup generators, leading to the paralysis of Spain, Portugal, and France. So, who did this? Nobody knows! Where is the fault? No one knows either! How strange the planet became..!
Russia
Putin, the schemer, has announced,
“ By God, we will suspend military operations in Ukraine from the 8th to the 18th of next month...”
Someone, a housewife, might pop up and ask, "Why those dates specifically? Is Putin planning something sneaky?" Sneaky what? God forgive you! The man has taken three-quarters of Ukraine, including the five most important Ukrainian regions, and is telling them, "If you want to negotiate, fine. First, officially recognize that these five regions belong to Russia, and then we can talk."
Of course, this comes after Russia reclaimed the entire Kursk region from the Ukrainians, leaving them with no leverage for pressure or negotiation with Russia! Basically, he's put them in an impossible position, saying, "Announce your defeat and surrender."
Putin is suspending the war for the Russian Victory Day celebrations, which will be attended by Chinese President Xi Jinping himself. Some say that President Sisi will attend.
Iran...
So, Iran, right? Just a couple of days ago, they had this massive disaster at their biggest and most important seaport, Bandar Abbas. And this happened at the exact same time as a cyberattack on all their nuclear reactors. So, no kidding, and without even thinking, who's behind all this? The answer is: the freakin' Israelis, no doubt! Especially when you find out that the explosions happened in containers that were carrying missile fuel that Iran had imported for their missile program. So you're gonna be like, 'Hold up, how the heck did that happen?!'
See, the Iranians were about to make a sweet deal with the Americans, everything was gonna be smooth sailing. But I'm telling you, that went against what the Israelis wanted. That's why the hit came right after Trump said that Netanyahu wouldn't force him into a war with Iran! And anyway, if you paid attention to the plan to strike Iran that got leaked to the media, you'd know they were planning to hit all Iranian ports, all the reactors, all the infrastructure. And that Iran-US agreement stopped everything in its tracks!
Now, connect these explosions to what's going on between Pakistan and India, with that massive military buildup they got going on.
It got so serious that the Pakistani government came out and swore by all that's holy to Muslims that Israel is behind the whole damn thing! India ain't buying it and they're mobilizing their armies on the border with Pakistan.
And Pakistan's doing the same, mobilizing their armies on the border with India. And of course, China's got Pakistan's back, and America's backing India! So the big question here is... why are the Israelis so hell-bent on dragging America into a world war?
China
If you want to know that the Chinese have written off America, you need to understand that China will no longer import passenger planes from Boeing or Airbus. They have begun manufacturing a Chinese passenger plane that is more advanced, technologically superior, faster, safer, and cheaper. And not only that!
Russia has also entered the passenger plane manufacturing sector. Thus, within five years, the two largest and most important aircraft manufacturing companies in the world, the American Boeing and the European Airbus, which are pillars of the Western economy, will be declared bankrupt.
North Korea
Yo, for the first time ever, that dude Kim, North Korea's big boss, came out today and was like, 'Yeah, we sent our Korean soldiers to Russia, and they're the ones who freed that Kursk area from Ukraine.' And he's like, 'Anyone who messes with Russia, we're gonna mess them up with blood.'
Then Putin came out today and said, 'My boy, my homie, my brother Kim, who came through with his crew, big ups for that favor, man. And I'm telling you, I swear on Russia, anyone who touches North Korea, I'm gonna eat 'em alive.
Syria
Yo, in Syria, it's like a straight-up dark comedy, man, messed up for them and whoever brought 'em into this world. This dude Jolani is massing his troops near the outskirts of Aleppo, and the SDF, you know, the Kurds or the Syrian Democratic Forces that America backs? They're building up their forces too.
But hold up, they ain't beefing up to go against Israel! Nah, man, these fools are lining up against each other, about to go at it, straight-up rumble!
And in my beloved Tahya Masr (Long Live Egypt),
Today, Abdel Fattah al-Burhan, the commander of the Sudanese army, our son and a graduate of the Egyptian Military Academy, is coming to give the "all clear" to the Supreme Commander of the Egyptian Armed Forces, Abdel Fattah al-Sisi. And when I say the Supreme Commander of the Egyptian Armed Forces, I mean he is the supreme commander of all armies from Egypt to Sudan, to Libya, all the way to Somalia. Didn't he tell you and promise you that Egypt is the mother of the world and will be worthy of it? "Didn't he tell y'all and promise you it's the 'mother of the world' and it's gonna be somethin' else, like top-tier?"
"Also, you know, long live my sweet Egypt!Tahya Masr.
So, that... uh... Trump dude, right? Yo, that... uh... Trump dude, right?
He comes out and says, 'America ain't payin' no tolls for the Suez Canal or the Panama Canal!' And we're like, 'Why, man?' And he's all, 'Just 'cause!' Well, while you're at it, why don't we just let Americans ride free on the trains and buses here in Egypt, and at the airports too? 'Cause this is gettin' outta hand, straight up!
Alright, listen up, Trump dude. I'm gonna give you some free, honest advice 'cause you clearly don't know Sisi. That guy don't get punked or have his arm twisted. Ain't nobody got no dirt on him to blackmail him with. And that dude's got a hard head. If he sets his sights on you, I swear to God, America ain't gonna see a peaceful day.
That little war games thing with China? That was just a tiny taste, man. But if you keep runnin' your mouth... you'll see Sisi sign a whole damn strategic partnership with China and Russia first thing in the mornin'. And then, good luck tryin' to get America through the Red Sea again. If you think you're so tough, try goin' through the Suez Canal without payin' no fees. He charges Egyptians themselves tolls on the Tahya Masr Bridge, you think he ain't gonna charge your ass for the Suez Canal? You got a crazy uncle or somethin'?"
Yo, and you know, long live my sweet Egypt!
Bloomberg's sayin'...
Egyptian non-oil exports jumped 27% in the first three months of the year. What's that mean?
Look, man, it means Egypt's blessed, things are goin' good, and Egyptian factories boosted their production and are sellin' more stuff overseas. Now, some jackass is gonna pop up and be like, 'What does Egypt even make?'
Listen, you don't just answer him normal! Nah, you take off your damn shoe and smack him upside the head so his brain gets right and he understands that in the first three months of this year, 2025, Egypt managed to increase industrial production and exports by 27%, hittin' 12 billion dollars in just three months!
And that ain't my words, that's what Bloomberg news agency is sayin', you hear?"
"And Bloomberg's askin', like, if Egypt could boost production and exports with the whole world in the shitter like this, and with all the crazy stuff goin' on in the region, imagine what they could've done if things were actually goin' their way, ya know?"
"Also, you know, long live my sweet Egypt!
And get this, the advanced Chinese 039A submarine? It can totally disappear off the face of the Earth!
And that right there? That's gonna be a whole other story... stay tuned! But the most important thing? We gotta thank God... and remember God a lot so that things might work out for us, ya dig?"
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